Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
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I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
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Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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