Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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