'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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