Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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