why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
