did you get engaged???
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
