but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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