My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
