I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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