Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
