but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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