i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
