So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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