for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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