so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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