Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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