I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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