hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
