Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
