Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
