so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
