how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
