Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...