i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
