he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
