my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
