is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
