wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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