I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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