omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
