No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
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sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
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You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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