Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
