We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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