I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
