My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize