i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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