My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
