I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
