So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
