I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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