Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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