I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
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I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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