His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
