Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
