i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize