margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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