All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
