your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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