Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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