i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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