we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
