Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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