Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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