But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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