no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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