Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
