Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize