walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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