Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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