Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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