Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
