your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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