No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
