I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
