bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
