Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
