why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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