did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize