idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
