why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
