glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
